The Right to be You

(Assessment inside)

I wrote this post with the intention of answering a question I was pondering for my clients. That question was; 'How can we last the distance whilst making a difference?' I'd been through burnout twice in my previous lives and experienced first hand the pain and pressures in leadership and professional life. Especially when you are helping people directly and you want to change the world. I'm still an idealist!

This article does contain an assessment tool I borrowed and expanded and hope it may prove eye opening and prompt discussion with those close to you . It's all about your rights.

A Magnificent Life

All of us want to live it, it's 'having our cake an eating it too'!

Magnificent means, "Impressive to the mind or spirit, sublime, glorious, wonderful, exceptionally fine."

Living a magnificent life means first taking care of yourself and protecting yourself so you can confidently, and from a position of power, be able to serve others.

Strong, secure people make a lasting difference in their families, work and the world.

How you feel about yourself will ultimately determine how you see and treat others. Healthy boundaries and a healthy self-esteem is vital to making a lasting difference in your life.

What you believe about yourself and are able to do or not do is evidenced by what you feel is your right. So this test is of greater importance than you realise.

Martyrs and people operating on empty have one thing in common; they don't last the distance.

Where do you stand in relation to the 25 personal rights below?

If you believe it's your right and exercise it give yourself a point. If you merely admire or think you should believe it there's no score.

Check yourself against the 25 points and see how you score on the scale of making a difference and lasting the distance enjoying the success your working hard for today.

Here it is…

Your Personal Bill of Rights

I have the right to ask for what I want.

I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.

I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

I have the right to change my mind.

I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.

I have the right to determine my own priorities.

I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behaviour, actions, feelings, or problems.

I have the right to expect honesty from others.

I have the right to be angry at someone I love.

I have the right to be uniquely myself.

I have the right to feel scared and say “I’m afraid.”

I have the right to say “I don’t know.”

I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behaviour.

I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

I have the right to be playful and frivolous.

I have the right to be healthier than those around me.

I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.

I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

I have the right to change and grow.

I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.

I have the right to be happy.

How did you score?

1-5 It looks like you're allowing your surroundings (circumstances and people) rule your life because of deep seated beliefs that this is the right thing to do and it's your lot in life. People tend to use you rather than respect you. Start by taking two or more rights you don’t believe yet and ask yourself what it is costing you to make the necessary mind change.

6-10 There's a part of you that is stuck in 'martyr mode'. Evaluate what you believe about who you are and what you are worth. You are so much more than what your thoughts or other people are telling you, you can be magnificent! Take one of the rights that you had difficulty believing and live this week as if it were true.

11-15 You have a sense of fairness that is admirable but this will only take you so far. You need to believe you have a greater voice and deserve more. Have the confidence to express yourself in your world and achieve what is in your heart right now. Believe in and back yourself.

16-20 You are strong and confident. This will serve you to make the change needed in order for you to rise to the next level. You need more self-awareness around your beliefs to fully serve and make a lasting difference.

21-25 You are confident, self-aware and are already making a difference in your world. You only need small changes to fully realise your magnificence and go the distance. Write down today the points you didn't circle and ask yourself what you need to believe in order for this to be true, and what is it costing you right now.

Source: The 25 points entitled 'Personal Bill of Rights' first appeared in 'The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook', by Edmund Bourne, PhD. All other copy and scoring system is copyright claudecoaching.com and Claude Arganaraz.

Claude Arganaraz is a Life & Executive Coach for professionals who want to be at their best. He helps clients find balance, stress less, gain direction and focus without the hype or hard work. Visit claudecoaching.com for more, and to start your journey to creating the life you want today.